I'm content, and do NOT want to stay this way.

We're on this journey to Fishers, oh how many sentences have I started with this? We're in this waiting period. It's so weird, frustrating, peaceful. I go through about every emotion. I am so ready to be there, so I'm impatient. Yet, we were just able to pay off all of our credit cards because of where we are financially now, so I'm thankful. Doug has applied for so many jobs and really hasn't heard much of anything, so I'm discouraged. We have people possibly interested in our house, so I'm hopeful. I could really go on and on and my feelings change on a daily basis. There are times when a thought passes by about if we weren't going and this would be our life. Now, I'm not even thinking about not going, that thought has not crossed my mind. I know we're called by God and am so excited to be in His will. But, we're at a good place right now and sometimes a vision of what our life would be like just flutters by. So I was thinking about how we just paid off our credit cards. We just paid a huge payment on our van so we actually owe way less than it's worth. If we weren't called, we would have already gone and traded up, I just know it. We would be pimping around in our almost new van with back windows that actually roll down. We might have even bought land so we could build a house out by Keith & Gretchen. We would stay at Bridgeway, where God has stretched and grown us. We would have our small group that we love and Doug would have a nice, steady, reliable job. We would be content.


Content. Is that what God has called us to? A life of contentment? I've always wanted to be in the spot we're in now. We're getting out of debt. We don't have a ton, but we do have extras. We're blessed. Right when we've hit this point in our lives, God calls us to something different. I've been asking over the past year for God to stretch my faith. Is this how He's doing it? Here, I've given you everything you've wanted out of life, now take a step of faith and see what I have planned for you. Is there going to be any comparison? I really don't believe so. God has a plan for us that's going to change lives. That's what being a Christian on this planet is all about. It's not about being in a great small group, attending an amazing church and getting to pay your tithe. Oh, God has so much more for us.


So, I'm impatient most of the time. I do fluctuate between so many emotions, but I think I regularly come back to impatience. I'm just ready to be there. I hear of bible studies, meetings that have started, people that are already starting to have their lives changed and I'm so ready to be a part of it. But I'm also peaceful. I know God has a path for us. We'll be there in His time. My job now is to honor Him where I'm at right now. To trust that His plan for me is best. So, I'm going enjoy where I'm at. I'm going to enjoy this period of smoothness. I know there will be some rocky roads ahead. Satan never lets you be when you're doing something in faith for God's kingdom. But I know God will get us through. I mean, look at everything He's done in us to bring us to what we've wanted out of life. I can't imagine what He's going do to bring us to what He has for us in this life! So that makes me impatient again! And excited, hopeful, peaceful, grateful, humbled, eager....