So we're on this road to Fishers. We're so amazed and humbled to be called. I wish we could just live on that "high" all the time. Unfortunately, life is not all highs. There are many lows. The key is to be joyful in the highs and the lows. Yesterday was a very low day for me.
It just seems that for every two steps forward we take in the remodeling project, it's one step back. We're making progress, but it's just sooooo slow! I know, I know, we should expect for there to be set backs and problems during remodeling. I guess I'm ok with that, but it's almost ridiculous the things that are happening! Doug broke two toilets yesterday. Now, installing a toilet is not that hard, in fact, Doug has done this many times. He has no idea how they broke. First, he was setting it on the drain and it cracked. Now this was not just a tiny crack, a triangle size piece broke off the bottom that was about a foot tall. Just crazy. So, he goes and gets a new bottom for it and was attaching the top to it and it cracked. It's just so frustrating. Now we're set back by about $100 and we're getting really low on our renovating funds.
I'm also starting to get really stressed about Doug finding the job. The problem is is that Doug's a cop. However, he cannot get a cop job when we move due to his age. Also, even if he could get a cop job, he would start back at the bottom of the pay scale and shift bid. Looking for related fields is not that easy as well. Most security positions pay about half of what he's making now. Unfortunately, we're not in a place where we can live on half of his pay. Honest to goodness, we can cut our cable bill and that's about it. Everything else are just basic expenses. So, I just can't see how this is going to work out....
...with my human eyes. I'm so thankful that God does not live and work and breath in the human world. Every night before bed I read a page from Beth Moore's "Praying God's Word Day by Day." Here's a portion of what I read last night:
I praise You, God of heaven and Lord of earth! You are not a man, that You should lie, nor a son of man, that You should change Your mind. Do You speak and then not act? Do you promise and not fulfill? (Num. 23:19). You are always faithful, God! How grateful I am to know that You will never lie to me.
You see, God called us to Fishers. We know this without a doubt in our minds. So that means he has a plan for us.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
That means that God is not calling us to Fishers and then going to just leave us or even worse, leave it all up to us. He has a plan. He will provide. Everything will come together in His time.
This doesn't mean that life will be perfect. This doesn't mean that there won't be lows. But it does mean that God is with us no matter what and His plan is for our good. So, all these promises that I know in my heart, I'm working on believing them in my head. Not an easy feet, but I know God is using this time of frustration and having to trust in Him to mold me and help me be who He wants me to be.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Not My Fault
I started reading in John awhile ago. I think it's so God's timing that I'm at the end of the book this week before Easter. Today I read about Pilate. Several times he said "I find no fault with this man." The Jews wanted Jesus crucified, Pilate could not find a reason. Eventually he handed him over to be crucified.
This got me to thinking of how often we do this in our own lives. In one of the gospels I believe it even says that Pilate washed his hands in front of the crowd and said basically that Jesus' blood was not on his hands. Can we do this? Can we do something we feel is wrong because everybody else is pressuring us to and just "wash our hands of it." Not my fault. Everyone else was, so I had to.
Austin is so bad at accepting responsibility. Nothing is ever his fault. He's got an excuse for everything! It's so funny how different my kids are. Austin is basically a good kid, he rarely gets in trouble; but when he does, it wasn't his fault. Guaranteed. Brandt gets in trouble a lot more frequently. When he gets in trouble, it's usually a big deal. Yet afterwards, he admits he was wrong and says he's sorry. Which is better?
Do I make excuses with God?
Not my fault. It wasn't gossip, it was a prayer request.
Not my fault. It wasn't really a lie, it was just stretching the truth.
Not my fault. I just got so busy I forgot to read my bible.
On and on we go. Making excuses. What we need to realize, what I need to realize, is that all these little checks that God gives us are for our good. To make us more like Jesus. Not full of excuses, just full of Jesus.
This got me to thinking of how often we do this in our own lives. In one of the gospels I believe it even says that Pilate washed his hands in front of the crowd and said basically that Jesus' blood was not on his hands. Can we do this? Can we do something we feel is wrong because everybody else is pressuring us to and just "wash our hands of it." Not my fault. Everyone else was, so I had to.
Austin is so bad at accepting responsibility. Nothing is ever his fault. He's got an excuse for everything! It's so funny how different my kids are. Austin is basically a good kid, he rarely gets in trouble; but when he does, it wasn't his fault. Guaranteed. Brandt gets in trouble a lot more frequently. When he gets in trouble, it's usually a big deal. Yet afterwards, he admits he was wrong and says he's sorry. Which is better?
Do I make excuses with God?
Not my fault. It wasn't gossip, it was a prayer request.
Not my fault. It wasn't really a lie, it was just stretching the truth.
Not my fault. I just got so busy I forgot to read my bible.
On and on we go. Making excuses. What we need to realize, what I need to realize, is that all these little checks that God gives us are for our good. To make us more like Jesus. Not full of excuses, just full of Jesus.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Ask and it Will be Given to You
We have been remodeling our house for what seems like FOREVER! We are so close to being done! We had been waiting for the house to be complete before Doug started looking for jobs. A couple of days ago we took the plunge. I've been so ready to move into this next step. Now that we're here, it's so scary. I'm having a hard time thinking that Doug is going to find a job as good as the one he has now. Is he going to have a job that pays enough? I've been reading in John and here are the verses I've read over the past several days:
John 15:7 If you abide in Me, and My works abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you
John 15:16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you
John 16:24 Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full
Now, do these verses mean I can ask for a pink elephant and "Bam!" God delivers? No. But if I'm totally in sync with Jesus, if my wants are his wants, than I can ask and know it will be given. We are relocating because God has called us there. He has a plan for us. I know He will provide. That doesn't mean we may not have difficulties or even have to make some sacrifices, but I do believe that God wants us to financially support Second Chance. This means that He has a job for Doug that will provide for all our needs. We may not have all our "wants", but then again, maybe we will. I just know I have to have faith and trust that God's path for me is the best one to be on, no matter what!
John 15:7 If you abide in Me, and My works abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you
John 15:16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you
John 16:24 Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full
Now, do these verses mean I can ask for a pink elephant and "Bam!" God delivers? No. But if I'm totally in sync with Jesus, if my wants are his wants, than I can ask and know it will be given. We are relocating because God has called us there. He has a plan for us. I know He will provide. That doesn't mean we may not have difficulties or even have to make some sacrifices, but I do believe that God wants us to financially support Second Chance. This means that He has a job for Doug that will provide for all our needs. We may not have all our "wants", but then again, maybe we will. I just know I have to have faith and trust that God's path for me is the best one to be on, no matter what!
Monday, April 11, 2011
A Cavity ?!?
I went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago for my routine cleaning. I found out at that time that I had a cavity. I was shocked! I haven't had a cavity since middle school. I take very good care of my teeth! I have been dreading going in to get it filled. I just kept thinking about that HUGE needle they were going to use to numb it and then I was going to have to live with a fat lip for several hours. I really worked myself up about it. Right before I went in, I took a deep breath and said "Lord, be with me through this."
Once I got into the waiting room I wasn't there a full minute before I was called back. I sat down, she said the doctor will be with you in a few minutes and immediately the doctor walked in. Did't they know I needed a little time to fret some more! This is how the conversation went:
Dentist: Do you want me to numb this?
Me: (laughing) uh, you do whatever you think is best
Dentist: (Picks up his drill)
Me: Uh, what are doing?
Dentist: You said I didn't have to numb it
Me: I thought you were kidding!
Dentist: I don't think it's that deep and I really think you'll be fine
I ended up letting him go ahead and do it without numbing me. And you know what? It basically didn't hurt at all! He then put a white filling on it and now you can't even tell anything was done. I was in and out in 15 minutes and it really wasn't a big deal at all.
I got to thinking later how our spiritual lives can look so much like this story. We have this issue in our life that is just so small, that if we would just let Jesus take care of it right away, we would experience very little pain, very little discomfort. We could just let Jesus clean out the bad and put a seal on it and we could go on with our lives, with really nothing different about us. Instead, so many times, we hide it from God. Maybe we're scared, ashamed or just don't want to admit that we have an issue. So, we hide, we ignore, we run. Then we're left with a much bigger "fix." It can't be fixed painlessly. God has to do much more drilling, honing, molding to clean us up. In the end we're left with deep scars that may never completely go away.
In all honesty, when the dentist said how small the cavity was the first thing I thought was maybe we should just wait then until it gets bigger. Then I thought, it would probably be much easier if I just went through with this today. Oh to respond to Jesus like that. I don't want to do this, go through this, but I know it's better to deal with this today than put it off until tomorrow. I hope I remember this next time I feel that gentle nudge. The road is so much easier if I just respond right away. It may not be painless, it may take some work, but in the end, Jesus wants what's best for me!
Once I got into the waiting room I wasn't there a full minute before I was called back. I sat down, she said the doctor will be with you in a few minutes and immediately the doctor walked in. Did't they know I needed a little time to fret some more! This is how the conversation went:
Dentist: Do you want me to numb this?
Me: (laughing) uh, you do whatever you think is best
Dentist: (Picks up his drill)
Me: Uh, what are doing?
Dentist: You said I didn't have to numb it
Me: I thought you were kidding!
Dentist: I don't think it's that deep and I really think you'll be fine
I ended up letting him go ahead and do it without numbing me. And you know what? It basically didn't hurt at all! He then put a white filling on it and now you can't even tell anything was done. I was in and out in 15 minutes and it really wasn't a big deal at all.
I got to thinking later how our spiritual lives can look so much like this story. We have this issue in our life that is just so small, that if we would just let Jesus take care of it right away, we would experience very little pain, very little discomfort. We could just let Jesus clean out the bad and put a seal on it and we could go on with our lives, with really nothing different about us. Instead, so many times, we hide it from God. Maybe we're scared, ashamed or just don't want to admit that we have an issue. So, we hide, we ignore, we run. Then we're left with a much bigger "fix." It can't be fixed painlessly. God has to do much more drilling, honing, molding to clean us up. In the end we're left with deep scars that may never completely go away.
In all honesty, when the dentist said how small the cavity was the first thing I thought was maybe we should just wait then until it gets bigger. Then I thought, it would probably be much easier if I just went through with this today. Oh to respond to Jesus like that. I don't want to do this, go through this, but I know it's better to deal with this today than put it off until tomorrow. I hope I remember this next time I feel that gentle nudge. The road is so much easier if I just respond right away. It may not be painless, it may take some work, but in the end, Jesus wants what's best for me!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
I took the Plunge
Well, not me exactly, but I applied for several jobs for Doug in the Indianapolis area. Pastor Matt texted me tonight and asked how everything was going. I told him we have a little over a week left and should have the house done. Can we just pause for a moment and say a big fat YAY!!! He also asked how the job search was coming. I told him we had been waiting to finish the house before looking. A couple of days ago I was thinking that we should start applying soon. I took this as a sign to just go ahead and take the plunge. I go through phases where I know God is going to provide Doug with a good job and worrying that he won't find one that pays enough. It's a scary step we're taking, but I just keeping focusing on Second Chance. I know this is what God wants us to do so really it's up to Him to provide. So, here we go, a few final things on the house and job searching. I feel like we're moving into phase two. How exciting!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Lessons for the Treadmill
So, I've started working out again. Ok, so today was my first day, but still... I'm doing a training for a 5K app on my iphone. It's really cool. I was able to import songs from my ipod and listen to them while I work out. It's basically interval training where you walk for a 1 1/2 minutes and then run for a minute. I'm hoping recording this here will help me stick with it! Summer is coming and I really need to get in shape, never mind the McDonalds I just had for lunch :)
So, anyway, I learned a couple of things while on the treadmill this morning:
1.) Trying to "dance" to Toby Mac while running on a treadmill is not recommended.
2.) If your bangs are not in your face than that means your headband is still on and you do not have to look around searching for it, afraid it would get sucked up into the treadmill, and almost falling off.
3.) The extension cord that is laying across the edge of the treadmill is not the non-missing headband, so you can quit looking at it every few minutes.
4.) It is much easier to put a bun in your hair BEFORE you get on the treadmill and not while you're walking.
5.) If your treadmill happens to be right beside your mirror, do not think you can watch the belly fat disappear, it will take a little more time.
6.) In your mid 20s, working out might have been refreshing, but in your mid 30s you're going to need a nice long break with your feet up just so you can walk again.
So, anyway, I learned a couple of things while on the treadmill this morning:
1.) Trying to "dance" to Toby Mac while running on a treadmill is not recommended.
2.) If your bangs are not in your face than that means your headband is still on and you do not have to look around searching for it, afraid it would get sucked up into the treadmill, and almost falling off.
3.) The extension cord that is laying across the edge of the treadmill is not the non-missing headband, so you can quit looking at it every few minutes.
4.) It is much easier to put a bun in your hair BEFORE you get on the treadmill and not while you're walking.
5.) If your treadmill happens to be right beside your mirror, do not think you can watch the belly fat disappear, it will take a little more time.
6.) In your mid 20s, working out might have been refreshing, but in your mid 30s you're going to need a nice long break with your feet up just so you can walk again.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sometimes God Just doesn't Make Sense!
Sometimes God calls us to do things that just don't make sense. This is very hard for me because I am a very logical person. I mean why would you cold call people you don't even know and invite them to church. That's what our church did when it first started up. I thought it was crazy. No one's going to come to church from a phone call from somebody they don't even know. Yet that's exactly how Shelly came to our church. Now, she is one of the biggest spiritual influences in my life. She serves on the church board and is an amazing women. If left up to me, she might not even be at our church
Matt and Brooke are the pastor and his wife that will be leading Second Chance Church in Fishers, IN. They have been trying to sell their house for over 6 months. About 6 weeks ago, Matt moved to the Fishers area leaving Brooke and their son Warrick here. This lasted for about a month before Matt really felt like Brooke was supposed to quit her job and move to Fishers with him. He really thought God wanted them to be together as a family. Now this just doesn't make sense. Brooke's job was paying their house payment. If she quit, where would the money come from to pay it? Well, after praying, they really felt like this was what God wanted them to do. Brooke was in Indiana for one week when their house sold. Not only did it sell, but they got a very decent offer. They countered back and the buyer was so impressed with their counter that he offered to pay MORE! What?!? When does it ever happen that someone gets a counter and decides to pay MORE than the seller is asking!
Like I said, following God sometimes just doesn't make sense. How many times do I miss a plan or even just a blessing God has for me because I don't want to step out in faith and do what He is calling me to do? Lord, help me to be unlogical, unpractical and live by faith!
Matt and Brooke are the pastor and his wife that will be leading Second Chance Church in Fishers, IN. They have been trying to sell their house for over 6 months. About 6 weeks ago, Matt moved to the Fishers area leaving Brooke and their son Warrick here. This lasted for about a month before Matt really felt like Brooke was supposed to quit her job and move to Fishers with him. He really thought God wanted them to be together as a family. Now this just doesn't make sense. Brooke's job was paying their house payment. If she quit, where would the money come from to pay it? Well, after praying, they really felt like this was what God wanted them to do. Brooke was in Indiana for one week when their house sold. Not only did it sell, but they got a very decent offer. They countered back and the buyer was so impressed with their counter that he offered to pay MORE! What?!? When does it ever happen that someone gets a counter and decides to pay MORE than the seller is asking!
Like I said, following God sometimes just doesn't make sense. How many times do I miss a plan or even just a blessing God has for me because I don't want to step out in faith and do what He is calling me to do? Lord, help me to be unlogical, unpractical and live by faith!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Princess Tea Party
Yesterday, Gretchen and I took Emma and Jazlyn to a princess tea party. It was held by Mrs Newsberry's Traveling Tea Parties. She brought a ton of princess dresses that each little girl could choose from. She also had necklaces & very over the top boa & flower hats. They all looked adorable. She had little kid size tables set up beautifully with flowers, finger foods and a tea service.
Jazlyn ate a lot of pieces of cheese, a chocolate brownie cupcake and a wafer cookie. She really liked the cheese :) They were served pink tea. I'm not sure if it was actually tea or not. I asked Jazz if it was pink lemonade and she said "no, it was tea."
They also had story time where Mrs Newsberry read three books. After they were able to eat what they wanted, drink their tea and hear the stories, they changed out of their dresses and had craft time. Now, I have to say that the crafts were a little ghetto:) They painted sun catchers, but a lot of the paint was dried up. Jazz got an underwater one that was very involved. I would have liked it better if she would have gotten a simple butterfly or something.
All in all, it was wonderful! You could tell that Jazz loved it. I took around 130 pictures, must be my mom in me :) As I was sitting and just watching her, I started to tear up. I really had to stop myself from crying. Just the blessing of having a little girl. Thank you Lord!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Why am I Surprised...
When God answers a prayer I didn't even think to pray.
My tent broke that I use for craft fairs. Late last fall, it was a really rainy day and my church wanted to use tents to help shield everybody as they were carrying things in for setup. I said they could use my tent and Doug took it. He was pushing it up and one of the braces snapped. He doesn't know why and it isn't fixable.
Luckily it happened after all my fall shows, so I wasn't in any hurry for a new one. Now that it's closer to spring, I've been researching getting a new one. To get one just like I had, which would be fine, would be about $160. The only thing, it only has tabs that velcro at the sides. One of my friends has the exact same tent and someone broke into at a show last fall and stole about $600 worth of items from her. Since then, I've really wanted the sides that zip all the way down. Somebody could easily unzip them, but it would be much harder than undoing a couple of velcro tabs. I would also like an awning. Sometimes I put my table outside of my booth and it would be really nice to be able to have the awning to offer some shade and some protection for my cash register if it rains. I researched the ones with the zipper sides and awnings and they are $270. I don't mind paying for things that I know I'll use, but I just hated the idea of paying an extra $100 for just a couple of things that would be "nice" to have.
I had a craft show last weekend. Jessica was there. She's a friend I used to work with and she started making tutus and some hair accessories last year. She shared that she was thinking about quitting. It just wasn't paying off for her. I told her to let me know if she wants to sell her tent because I need one. She messaged me on facebook a couple of days later and said she was for sure quitting. She sent me a link to her tent and that she wanted $150 for it. When I checked out the link, yeah, it was the exact tent I wanted! The one with the zipper sides and an awning. I was so excited! I told her I wanted it and she wanted to know if I wanted to just do a credit with her and then she could just pick things out for me to make for her little girl. So now it's going to cost me about $60 in material and a little of my time for the exact tent I wanted that would have been $270.
I didn't even pray about it. There's just some things that I don't think to pray about. "Lord please provide a tent for my craft shows" ?!? That seems so meaningless. I pray for my uncle that has cancer. My friend that has cancer. That my kids will always remain close to Jesus. But to pray for a tent? I'm so thankful that I serve a God who cares about every aspect of my life. From the big things, like my family, to the smallest things, like providing a "want" in my life. Thank you God!
My tent broke that I use for craft fairs. Late last fall, it was a really rainy day and my church wanted to use tents to help shield everybody as they were carrying things in for setup. I said they could use my tent and Doug took it. He was pushing it up and one of the braces snapped. He doesn't know why and it isn't fixable.
Luckily it happened after all my fall shows, so I wasn't in any hurry for a new one. Now that it's closer to spring, I've been researching getting a new one. To get one just like I had, which would be fine, would be about $160. The only thing, it only has tabs that velcro at the sides. One of my friends has the exact same tent and someone broke into at a show last fall and stole about $600 worth of items from her. Since then, I've really wanted the sides that zip all the way down. Somebody could easily unzip them, but it would be much harder than undoing a couple of velcro tabs. I would also like an awning. Sometimes I put my table outside of my booth and it would be really nice to be able to have the awning to offer some shade and some protection for my cash register if it rains. I researched the ones with the zipper sides and awnings and they are $270. I don't mind paying for things that I know I'll use, but I just hated the idea of paying an extra $100 for just a couple of things that would be "nice" to have.
I had a craft show last weekend. Jessica was there. She's a friend I used to work with and she started making tutus and some hair accessories last year. She shared that she was thinking about quitting. It just wasn't paying off for her. I told her to let me know if she wants to sell her tent because I need one. She messaged me on facebook a couple of days later and said she was for sure quitting. She sent me a link to her tent and that she wanted $150 for it. When I checked out the link, yeah, it was the exact tent I wanted! The one with the zipper sides and an awning. I was so excited! I told her I wanted it and she wanted to know if I wanted to just do a credit with her and then she could just pick things out for me to make for her little girl. So now it's going to cost me about $60 in material and a little of my time for the exact tent I wanted that would have been $270.
I didn't even pray about it. There's just some things that I don't think to pray about. "Lord please provide a tent for my craft shows" ?!? That seems so meaningless. I pray for my uncle that has cancer. My friend that has cancer. That my kids will always remain close to Jesus. But to pray for a tent? I'm so thankful that I serve a God who cares about every aspect of my life. From the big things, like my family, to the smallest things, like providing a "want" in my life. Thank you God!
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