Housing Hunting in Indiana

Yesterday was day 1 of house hunting in Indiana. We have been looking forward to this for almost a year! When we first felt called to Fishers we got online and looked up houses. We just wanted to see what the market was like and what kind of house to expect. We were both blown away with what kind of house we were probably going to end up with. Since that time, we have regularly looked up potential houses and would share them with each other. We have had so much fun just dreaming about when we would actually be able to start officially looking. Since we've sold our house, we had to get serious about looking and making a list of the houses we wanted to look at. Over the past couple of weeks, I have started to feel guilty about how excited I am. I've been called to help plant a church, not to get a bigger house. I just want to make sure that my focus is on the right thing.

Two of my very dear friends helped me with this. I shared with both of them that I was feeling guilty about how excited I was. Both of them basically said the same thing at different times. This is a moment I should enjoy. I should be excited! God has called us here and wants to bless us. He's excited that I'm excited. Not every moment will be this fun. There will be moments that are hard. We have had a rough six months. It seems like something around the house goes wrong every other week. I can't believe how much money we've spent fixing everything. Somebody different has been sick in the family for most of the last 3 months. Satan is attacking us. And in the midst of it all, God is blessing us with this fun and exciting time.

The sermon series we're in at church is This IS our God. I just love that title! We're not talking about what God has done for us. What God will do with us. We are talking about who God IS. What makes up his very being. His Goodness. His Greatness. His Faithfulness. God has called us to help plant SCC. And because of His greatness, His goodness I will also be moving closer to my family. We will be moving into a bigger house where we will actually feel like we can entertain and have fun with others.

So, I'm off in a few minutes for day 2. And instead of feeling guilty, I'm going to be thanking God for His goodness! Thankful for the amazing Realtor He provided. Thankful for the beautiful houses we're seeing. Thankful I get to do it with my son and later with Doug. What a blessed day! What a blessed life!

Preparing the Way

So thankful!

I'm sitting on my couch with Brandt. Doug, Austin and Jazz just left for Thanksgiving with the family. Brandt's been sick for several days, so I'm staying home with him. It looks like he's finally getting better, for which I am very thankful. I hate that I'm missing family Thanksgiving. For most of them, this is the only time during the year that I see them. But, I get to spend the day with my boy. We are planning on playing several games and just having fun, for as long as he's up to it. Sounds like a good Thanksgiving to me!

I've really been thinking about all I have to be thankful for. This whole year has been filled with thankful moments. One year ago Doug and I were fasting and praying if we were supposed to move to Indiana to help plant Second Chance Church. I can hardly believe it's been a year! Since then, we're both 100% certain of this call God has put on our lives. We've finished remodeling our house, listed it and at this moment are under contract with a closing date at the end of January. I've started homeschooling our kids and we all love it. My Jazzy Girl business has grown and has enabled us to get out of credit card debt and pay down our car loan significantly. We have all been healthy and Doug and I will be celebrating 18 years of marriage on Sunday. Wow! What a year!

As I reread that paragraph, I have to give 100%, total credit and glory to God.

James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.


None of these things are coincidences. I'm not even sure I believe in that word. God has worked everything out so perfectly. It was hard waiting so long for our house to sell. It's hard being one of the final couples to make it to Fishers. It's hard to miss all of the meetings and bible studies that are going on right now. But, God had a plan. He still has a plan. We are on His path for us and I'm so thankful. Doug recently got promoted to a temporary sergeant position. It will last until the end of January and possibly the first few weeks in February. We close on our house January 31st and Doug will work a few weeks after that. They both coincide so perfectly, it can only be a God thing.

It's so exciting to see God do things in your life. I hope others are watching and seeing how God is working as well. I'm so thankful for a God that loves me so much. Sometimes, I just can't comprehend it. You know what I do? I look at my kids and think, wow, God loves me more than I love them. Now that is something to be in awe of and so thankful for!

Road Trip!

Over the weekend, Doug and I and the rest of the Core team for SCC took a road trip. We visited Elevation church in North Carolina and New Spring in South Carolina. I'll give you all of the boring details first. Doug took a half day off on Friday and when he got home we headed to Indiana to drop our kids off with my mom. We then headed to the church where a charter bus awaited us. We left that night at 7 and headed to London, Kentucky where we spent the night. We hit the road the next morning and made it to Charlotte, NC late that afternoon. We attended Elevation and then headed to Anderson, SC. We attended New Spring on Sunday Morning and then were back on the bus to head home. All in all it was a whirlwind weekend, but I am so thankful I went!

Pastor Matt has talked about Elevation a lot. Not that we as a church are going to copy them and be our own Elevation in Fishers, but it is a very close model of his vision of what we are going to be. They are only 5 years old and run over 10,000 people. We watched the video they put out on the story of how they started the church. There was a group of families, just like SCC, that left their homes and moved to Charlotte with a vision for this church. It is the most amazing story. The funny thing is, is that Doug and I and several other families are living that same story right now.

I was blown away by the generosity of the church. They were expecting us and had two people that gave us tours of the building. They told us everything and answered any and all the questions we had. They gave us all their brochures and print outs and even Tshirts. After the service, the associate pastor, Joel, sat down with us and answered even more questions and shared with us. They were so ready to help us. It was amazing.

I was totally unprepared for the service. I thought I had an idea of what it would be like, but it was so far beyond what I could have imagined. It was the most intense experience I have ever had in a worship setting. You were so focused, it was crazy. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I can attend a church, serve a church like that every week. How can they not run 10,000? How can we not be a huge impact in Hamilton County?

I was also amazed at both churches how God used the messages to speak to our group. He knew exactly what we needed to hear. We took this trip with a main focus of gaining knowledge to plant. God still used the time to grow us spiritually. It was awesome!

The other great thing about the weekend was just getting to know all of the couples better. There were a couple of families that we really didn't know well. It's amazing that God put this awesome group together. It was so much fun to sit and chat and laugh the miles away. I feel like I know everyone now and I can truly say that I love all of them. There's not a person in the bunch that I could say I don't like. I have to admit, I was a little nervous. We are going to be so tight with this group and what if there was one bad apple? I'm happy to say that I guess God knew what he was doing :)

To top off the weekend, it looks like we should have a finalized offer this week on our house. Looks like we'll be permanently in Indiana the first of February! I can honestly say that I cannot wait!

Still Waiting

I haven't posted in awhile. Too be honest, I've just been crazy busy. I kept thinking my business would slow down once my fall shows were done, but that just didn't happen. I've added some Thanksgiving and Christmas items and they are just selling like mad.

The whole family went to Fishers last weekend. It was the first time Doug has been to SSC. We went because my sister and her husband got baptized and dedicated their little girl. It was an amazing service. Just this glimpse of the amazing things God is doing and is going to do. We head back this weekend for a trip to South Carolina and Elevation Church. It is just going to be earth shattering. At least, that's how I feel. I don't think our core team can go there and experience a church that is so similar to what God has called us to and not be changed.

We're still waiting for our house to sell. We are actually expecting an offer at any time. In fact, we were supposed to receive it last night and have not heard anything. I'm not worried about it. I'm at the point where I know that God has to sell our house and it has to be in his time. My worrying or being anxious about it is not going to change anything. Do I want to be there? Absolutely! If it was my choice, we would be there already. But, it's not my choice. This journey never was. It was God's call on our lives. So, he gets to call the shots. To be honest, I do not want to be in charge of it. God has a plan, a path for us, and it's our job to be on it. So, here we sit. Waiting. And you know what? That's ok. We're just sitting in the place God has for us at this moment. How can we complain about that?

My Forty Years

I am so excited. I get to head to Indiana tomorrow! Not only do I get to see my family but I finally get to be a part of Second Chance. I know I'm part of it now, but I'll actually get to be there physically. I'll attend the bible study on Thursday and the meeting on Saturday. Pastor Matt always emails out what is being studied at the Thursday night bible study and I have been studying the same chapters, even though I won't be there. Well, guess what chapter it is this week? Acts 3! I read and blogged about the first 10 verses back in May. I think about this story so often and at this point in my life it's probably one of my favorites. It just pictures us as believers so well, especially where I'm at right now. Here's a refresher:

Acts 3:1-10 (New King James Version)

A Lame Man Healed

1 Now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. 2 And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms from those who entered the temple; 3 who, seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for alms. 4 And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, “Look at us.” 5 So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. 6 Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” 7 And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. 8 So he, leaping up, stood and walked and entered the temple with them—walking, leaping, and praising God. 9 And all the people saw him walking and praising God. 10 Then they knew that it was he who sat begging alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

I wrote back in May about how we have God in this box and He wants to do so much more in our lives. Today, God showed me something else. Commentary says that this man was probably over 40 years old. He had been lame since birth so he had been begging for a very long time! When Peter and John come along and heal him, he starts walking and leaping and praising God. Now, I don't go around leaping and praising God because I can walk. Why? Because I can. It's seems like I've been able to walk forever and it's just not that big of deal. Well, it was a big deal to him. Why? Because he couldn't walk for 40 years!

We are praying daily, almost hourly for our house to sell. We are just so ready to be in Fishers. We are ready to be a part of what God is doing there. We are ready to be walking and leaping and praising God as we see with our own eyes the amazing, miraculous things He is doing and is going to do. But you know what God says? You need to experience your 40 years first. You need to sit and pray a little longer. You need to seek My will just for a little while more. Why? Oh so that we actually leap and praise God when the time comes. God doesn't want a few high fives. A few back slaps. He wants us leaping for joy at how He worked everything out. When that lame man was healed and started walking, everyone knew who he was. And you know what? They all rejoiced and praised God with him. That's what God wants as well. There are so many people watching us. We get asked all the time if we're still going. Our answer? We're just waiting for our house to sell. Well, when God does this amazing thing and gets us to Fishers, everyone will know. There won't be a doubt that God did it and hopefully it will affect a few others and they'll be leaping and praising God as well.

I know this is going to happen with Hamilton County. We are expecting God to do amazing things there. And once He does, there will be a whole team of us Walking and Leaping and Praising God, together!

I'm content, and do NOT want to stay this way.

We're on this journey to Fishers, oh how many sentences have I started with this? We're in this waiting period. It's so weird, frustrating, peaceful. I go through about every emotion. I am so ready to be there, so I'm impatient. Yet, we were just able to pay off all of our credit cards because of where we are financially now, so I'm thankful. Doug has applied for so many jobs and really hasn't heard much of anything, so I'm discouraged. We have people possibly interested in our house, so I'm hopeful. I could really go on and on and my feelings change on a daily basis. There are times when a thought passes by about if we weren't going and this would be our life. Now, I'm not even thinking about not going, that thought has not crossed my mind. I know we're called by God and am so excited to be in His will. But, we're at a good place right now and sometimes a vision of what our life would be like just flutters by. So I was thinking about how we just paid off our credit cards. We just paid a huge payment on our van so we actually owe way less than it's worth. If we weren't called, we would have already gone and traded up, I just know it. We would be pimping around in our almost new van with back windows that actually roll down. We might have even bought land so we could build a house out by Keith & Gretchen. We would stay at Bridgeway, where God has stretched and grown us. We would have our small group that we love and Doug would have a nice, steady, reliable job. We would be content.


Content. Is that what God has called us to? A life of contentment? I've always wanted to be in the spot we're in now. We're getting out of debt. We don't have a ton, but we do have extras. We're blessed. Right when we've hit this point in our lives, God calls us to something different. I've been asking over the past year for God to stretch my faith. Is this how He's doing it? Here, I've given you everything you've wanted out of life, now take a step of faith and see what I have planned for you. Is there going to be any comparison? I really don't believe so. God has a plan for us that's going to change lives. That's what being a Christian on this planet is all about. It's not about being in a great small group, attending an amazing church and getting to pay your tithe. Oh, God has so much more for us.


So, I'm impatient most of the time. I do fluctuate between so many emotions, but I think I regularly come back to impatience. I'm just ready to be there. I hear of bible studies, meetings that have started, people that are already starting to have their lives changed and I'm so ready to be a part of it. But I'm also peaceful. I know God has a path for us. We'll be there in His time. My job now is to honor Him where I'm at right now. To trust that His plan for me is best. So, I'm going enjoy where I'm at. I'm going to enjoy this period of smoothness. I know there will be some rocky roads ahead. Satan never lets you be when you're doing something in faith for God's kingdom. But I know God will get us through. I mean, look at everything He's done in us to bring us to what we've wanted out of life. I can't imagine what He's going do to bring us to what He has for us in this life! So that makes me impatient again! And excited, hopeful, peaceful, grateful, humbled, eager....

Brandtly Douglas

Well, yesterday, my little boy turned 10. I can hardly believe it. He said something so funny yesterday. He said, "wow, I can't believe it's only be 10 years." Oh kids. Their sense of time and the things they worry and think about are so simple and precious. I pray that they remain simple and innocent for as long as possible. We took a minivacation the last couple of days so we were gone on his birthday. We spent the day at a park hiking in the woods. We got to see a snake, a huge spider, natural caves and a beautiful, although small, waterfall. It was perfect.

Of my three children, Brandt has taught me the most. He's a strong willed child, which I had never even heard of before I had him. He can be so difficult to deal with at times. However, he is also the sweetest and most sensitive of my three children as well. We were walking yesterday and came and walked with me so we could hold hands. So precious that he still does this at the age of 10. I treasured it because I know it won't last much longer.

So, Happy (one day late) Brandt Douglas Jones. I love you so very, very much and am so thankful for everything you taught me as a parent. I look forward to the next 10 years of being your mom.

The Story of the Wind Chimes

I'm so excited to tell this story. It's been in my mind for at least a month, if not a little longer. I read these verses in Joshua and it formed the idea in my mind.

Joshua 4

The Memorial Stones

1 And it came to pass, when all the people had completely crossed over the Jordan, that the LORD spoke to Joshua, saying: 2 “Take for yourselves twelve men from the people, one man from every tribe, 3 and command them, saying, ‘Take for yourselves twelve stones from here, out of the midst of the Jordan, from the place where the priests’ feet stood firm. You shall carry them over with you and leave them in the lodging place where you lodge tonight.’”
4 Then Joshua called the twelve men whom he had appointed from the children of Israel, one man from every tribe; 5 and Joshua said to them: “Cross over before the ark of the LORD your God into the midst of the Jordan, and each one of you take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, 6 that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ 7 Then you shall answer them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD; when it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever.”

After reading this passage I really wanted to do something similar. I wanted us to have something here that we would take with us to Fishers as a reminder of how God called us out of Pekin and into our very own "promised land", so to speak. I could never figure out just what I wanted to do. I told Doug about the idea and he agreed with it. We've been talking about it for a long time and just couldn't decide what to do. I thought about maybe a large rock and we could put our address here on it and then put it out at the house there. I thought about doing smaller rocks, one for each member of our family, and stacking them up here and then taking them there. I just wasn't sure if I was in love with either of those ideas and wasn't really sure what else we could do.

We had a showing on our house last night. I told Doug that we should go to Menards during it and walk through the garden area and see if we could come up with any ideas. As we're walking around everybody had their own opinions of what we should do. I saw some cute mushrooms or a bench that I thought would work. Doug liked the huge lion statue, the boys liked the idea of a water fountain and Jazlyn wanted to play in the park they have there. I prayed that God would help us find something that everyone agreed on. I want this to be a family thing and not just my thing. Then I saw the wind chimes. Everybody agreed that that was what we should do. We didn't see any we liked there so we ended up going to Big Lots. We found the perfect set and they are hanging on our shepherd's hook in the front flower bed.

Now every time any of us hear the wind chimes it will be a reminder of God's call on our lives. As time goes by and our story unfolds, they will be a reminder of God's faithfulness and provision during our journey. My prayer also is that people will comment on the wind chimes and it will give us a chance to share our story. Our very own story of the miracles God has and is going to perform in getting us to Fishers.

In the Waiting

It's so hard, this time that we're at right now. For so long after we were called to Fishers, we were so busy getting ready. We had to finish our house so we could get it on the market. Then we did some "staging" so it would look it's best. Now our house is on the market and we're just waiting. Waiting. Something that is so easy, yet so hard. I mean, what is required of me right now? Nothing. I just wait. Oh but how much goes into waiting. Patience. Trust. Faith.

I have no doubt that we'll make it to Fishers. The problem is, when? I really thought we'd be there by now, or at the very least have an offer on our house so were actively moving that way. Well, here we sit, waiting. I just have to keep reminding myself that God's timing is perfect. He has a buyer for our house, in His time. He has the perfect house for us over there, in His time. He also has the perfect job for Doug, yep, in His time. I get frustrated, especially when I hear of others that felt called after us and they're already there. I give it to God and trust Him and it seems like a couple of hours later I'm thinking about it again.

I read Habbukuk today. I felt that's what God wanted me to read. I came across these verses. I think I'm going to write them on an index card and carry it with me. I'm sure it won't take long to memorize with how many times I'll be reading it. But let the words be engraved on my heart. God's promise to me and my family. It will come, we just have to live by faith in the waiting.

Habbukuk 2:2-4

Then the LORD answered me and said:

“ Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
4 “ Behold the proud,
His soul is not upright in him;
But the just shall live by his faith

Never Wavering?

I was reading in John 10 today and it struct me how confident and sure Jesus was. Take a look:

17 “Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. 18 No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father.”

He's so confident about laying down his life. He knows about the cross and he's fine with it. But, take a look at Gethsemane just a short time later:

36 Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” 37 And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. 38 Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.”
39 He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”
40 Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? 41 Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
42 Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless[a] I drink it, Your will be done.” 43 And He came and found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy.
44 So He left them, went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. 45 Then He came to His disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise, let us be going. See, My betrayer is at hand.”

Jesus was exceeding sorrowful, even to the point of death! He prayed three times that he wouldn't have to endure the cross. Oh how I can see myself in this. I'm so confident right now. Our house is up for sell and once it sells, we're moving, whether Doug has a job or not. I'm excited to just step out in faith and see how God's going to work. Right now. How am I going to feel when it actually comes time for Doug to quit his job and he doesn't have one there? I'm pretty sure I'm going to have my doubts. I'm going to be asking God for another way right up until then. I mean, once we get an offer on our house and we put in an offer over there, He'll have about a month to work. He can bring about a job during that time. But what if He doesn't?

You know, I know God can handle our questions. He can handle our doubt. I think He can even handle our unbelief as long as we're crying out "Lord help my unbelief." What he cannot tolerate is disobedience. If we look him in the eye and say "yes Lord" and then turn around and do something else, what kind of faith is that? We cannot be surface Christians. God wants more than that. What does He say to the church of Laodicea?

Revelation 3:16
So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.

So, I'm bringing God my fears. What else am I supposed to do with them? He knows they're there. I cannot hide them from Him. He wants me to bring them to Him. Right now it's not so bad. They creep up every once in awhile. But as we get closer, I know they are going to surround me. During that time I know I will be in prayer a lot. What better place to be than at the feet of Jesus allowing Him to work in me. The best thing is is that I know there's going to be a time when I get to look back and be like "Wow! Look how Jesus just worked everything out!" What an amazing day that will be.

Watching His Actions

Doug and I have been married going on 18 years. That's really hard for me to believe since I'm still so young :) I tell everybody that he's about 95% perfect and totally mean it. We are vastly different people though. God just created us differently. I think the saying "opposites attract" is very true and it happens for a reason. I think God brings two very different people together so they can offset and balance each other. You can learn so much and grow from living with someone who is totally opposite of you.

One of the biggest ways Doug and I are different is verbally. I am a verbal person. I like to talk and share about my day and my thoughts. Getting Doug to share anything is like pulling teeth! He just doesn't have that desire. It can become an issue if I let it. We did the Five Love Languages quiz several years ago and one of my top ones is Words of Affirmation. Now, when this is one of your primary love languages and your husband is not a talker, it can be an issue. Doug's primary love language is "Acts of Service." Now this love language I just don't even get. I mean, if Doug does the dishes this isn't him showing his love for me, it's him doing his part around the house. But is it....

I've really had to step back and take a look at how I view things Doug does. He helps me so much with my business, Jazzy Girl Boutique. He will price my items, brad flowers and he's always there during setup and tear down. I think of this as him doing his job to help me. I mean, I'm sure he loved bradding about 100 flower clips for me! However, he sees it as doing something for me to show his love for me. This takes an adjustment in my thinking to see Doug as he really is.

This brings me to what I wanted to share today. We're on this road to Fishers, IN. I like to talk about it. I try to slip it into a conversation with whoever! I feel it's a good witness tool. I can share what God is doing and my obedience and this is just a good thing for people to hear. Now Doug doesn't talk about it much at all. Every once in awhile he'll share something with me, but not that often. He can't talk about it at work, so he really doesn't say much. I can start to question whether he really gets it. Whether he's really in it for the right reasons. Then I have to take a step back and look at his actions. Several times a week he searches for jobs and applies for anything that might be relevant. Several times a week he looks for houses for us in Fishers. Now that our house is on the market, he is crazy cleaning man every time we have a showing. I mean, we got feedback that one of the carpets in an upstairs bedroom was really a turnoff. So, we were able to get new for $80 and that night Doug installed it. I mean, this is my procrastinating husband, and he got it done in one day!

I think the biggest action of all is that he is eager to get there. He's eager to quit his steady, comfortable job here and step out into the unknown. He's giving up a lot and I know it has to be scary. So, when I step back and look at his actions, I'm simply amazed by his faith. I'm amazed at his steadfastness. I'm so glad he's the leader of our home. I'm so excited to see how God is going to bless him for his faithfulness. I'm proud to say he's my husband.

Up For Sale

Well, we finally have our house on the market. It's what we've been working towards for the past 7 months and it's finally here! I'm really trying not to stress and worry and just trust God in His timing. We so want to be in Indiana before the kids start school so we really need this to go fast! However, I trust that God has a plan and while I'm praying for a quick sale, I'm not going to stress if it doesn't happen. We'll get there when God wants us there.

Another thing we've been waiting for is also happening today. Doug has a job interview! We're so excited! He's been applying for jobs for about 4 months now and this is the first time we've heard back from anybody. It just feels good to have this next step happen, even if it turns out to be a dead end.

So, we're moving forward. Pretty exciting. Pretty scary. But so thankful that God has us in his hands! Can't wait to give a great update!

A Samaritan Women

This story has been preached on so many times from so many angles. I'm reading through the book of John and read the very first paragraph of her story, really before her story:

John 4

A Samaritan Woman Meets Her Messiah

1 Therefore, when the Lord knew that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John 2 (though Jesus Himself did not baptize, but His disciples), 3 He left Judea and departed again to Galilee. 4 But He needed to go through Samaria.

Now, I heard a sermon preached once, possibly even by my amazing brother, on this story. Did you know that Samaria is right between Galilee and Judea, the logical town for anyone traveling between the two cities to go through. However, no one traveled that way. They would go out of their way so they would not have to go through Samaria. But did you catch what Jesus said? He needed to go through Samaria. Now, it could have been that he wanted to get to Judea as quick as possible so he wanted to take the shortest route. I don't think so. He needed to go that way because he knew that the Samaritan women needed him.

Oh how great a God we serve that He does not do what everyone else does. He does not not do something just because other people don't do it and would criticize Him for doing it.

For awhile now, I've had this thought, this feeling, that we should move to Fishers whether Doug has a job or not. Now, I don't like this thought. I don't like this feeling. I honestly don't want God to ask us to do this. It's scary! So, a couple of weeks ago I prayed and told God that if this is what He wants for us, He needs to have Doug bring it up to me. Whew! Pretty much dodged that one! I love my husband dearly. And while he's doing better, he really doesn't talk much about deep issues or his feelings. So, I'm pretty sure we're in the clear.

Two days ago Doug says we need to get the house on the market. We haven't been rushing it since there is supposedly a family that wants to look at it and it would be very nice not to have pay a Realtor. I told him I thought we should wait until he finds a job. Then we could get a house in Fishers and probably swing two house payments for a short time. He said no, he didn't want to do that. So, I let it go and just said ok. A couple of hours later I asked him why he wanted to list the house right away. He said he remembered Pastor Matt (I believe) preaching that faith really isn't faith until you use it, until you just step out in trust. So, he thought we should sell our house, buy a house in Fishers and we should move there. I said "without you having a job?" And he said "Yes." NOOOOOO! What! He was not supposed to tell me this! While my insides were aflutter with nervousness with how in the world this would work, I was also looking at amazement that my husband is willing to do this! What growth we have both experienced. I was also so amazed at God for answering my prayer, just how I wanted.

So, we're praying that God will lead us. We want to do His will, no matter what. No matter how crazy it seems. If He shows us that this is definitely the path for us, then we'll go there. So, I've been praying that God will guide me if this is His path for us. Which brings us to the passage I read today. Jesus needed to go through Samaria. Why? Because there was a lost hurting women there. Doug and I need to go to Fishers. It's not a want. It's not a desire. It's a need. I googled a definition for need and here's the one I love:

Definition of NEED. 1: necessary duty : obligation

There are lost people in Hamilton County. There are hurting people in Hamilton County. God has called us to do something about it. What was once so fun and so amazing has become this obligation, this duty, this necessity in our lives. We are so excited to be near my family. We are so excited to be near Matt & Brooke. But you know what, if we were called to Timbuktu, we would go. Why, because reaching people that need Jesus isn't an option. It's not something you can choose to do or not to do it. We must do it. It's necessary! It's necessary for us! You see, God is using this to change us. We must reach out to others, so much more than we have in the past. We want God to use us, no matter how unlogical it may seem.

Our path on this journey is looking different than I thought it would. But my prayer has been from the beginning that God would show us the path He has for us. If this is where He leads, than all we can do is follow. It's not an option. It's necessary!

Unworthy

I've tried for over a year to keep a journal. Pastor Dale has said it many times in his sermons of how important it is. I tried keeping a written one, but I don't do well with that. I think faster than I can write and it just drives me crazy! I also started a word document but I didn't really like that either. So, I started doing it on here. This just works for me. So, I'm telling you all of that because you're going to get an intimate glimpse of me this morning. Keeping it real. You can't really be all God wants you to be until you can be real with yourself and with others. So, here goes...

I had the Tremont Turkey Festival this weekend. I love what I do. I'm so blessed that I get to do about 95% of my work from home and only truly work outside the home a few weekends a year. And to be honest, I really enjoy doing craft shows. They are however long and can be very draining. I woke up yesterday, tempted to just sleep in and not go to church. I was going to have to go straight from church to the show. But, I got up and went. Truth be told, there's not much that will keep me from going anymore. I just love church! So, we're singing the first song, and to be honest, I can't even remember what it was. How sad is that! Anyway, it got me to thinking about Second Chance. You see, I've never understood why God called me. I suffer from the "not good enough" syndrome. Ok, I don't know if that's truly a syndrome, but I'm sure there are many of us that suffer from the same thing. Growing up, my dad couldn't have cared less about me. It was as if I was nonexistent about 95% of the time. I used to pray that God would just let my dad love me. But, no matter what I did, how I acted, I was never good enough. Moving into high school, I was never good enough to be a true friend. Every single "best" friend I had in high school either backstabbed and betrayed me or abandoned me. I was just never good enough. I didn't date much. I had a ton of guy friends. I was a great friend but never good enough to be a girlfriend.

These "not good enoughs" pop up in my adult live as well. There have been so called friends that have backstabbed me. There have also been true friends that have innocently done something that has brought back all those feelings of just not being good enough. When you grow up with this "syndrome" coming at you from such important people in your life, it tarnishes you. I never realized how deeply these things hurt me until I did Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" book. It opened my eyes to so much and I highly recommend the book!

So, we're singing at church and I'm thinking of our calling and have this thought of "why me? I just don't understand why you're calling me, God. I'm just not worthy." And I hear God say so clearly "You are worthy to me!" God thinks I'm worthy! God sees something in me that He can use. I was reading in John today and came across the calling of Nathanael.

John 1
43 The following day Jesus wanted to go to Galilee, and He found Philip and said to him, “Follow Me.” 44 Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. 45 Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found Him of whom Moses in the law, and also the prophets, wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”
46 And Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”
Philip said to him, “Come and see.”
47 Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward Him, and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no deceit!”
48 Nathanael said to Him, “How do You know me?”
Jesus answered and said to him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.”

You see, before God called me, he saw me. He saw me in my life. He saw me day to day and thought I can use her. We can look at ourselves and not see how God can use us, but God looks at our hearts. If our hearts are right, then He can use us. You see, He uses our weaknesses for Him. He uses our weaknesses to help make us strong.

As I was writing this, this song kept going through my head. Thank you Lord for using my weaknesses! Thank You that when I go through things in this life, they're not for naught, but You can use them for Your purposes!

Give Thanks lyrics
Songwriters: Smith, Henry;

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"
Let the poor say, "I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us"

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"
Let the poor say, "I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us"

It Makes no Sense

The Realtor came by yesterday and gave us an idea of what our house will probably sell for. We are relatively happy with the number she gave. It was within just a thousand or two of what we hoped to sell it for. She knows us. We bought this house from her and her husband works with Doug. She asked if we had a house in mind and we told her we were moving to Indiana. She wanted to know if Doug had a job lined up there. We told her no, and told her about our call to help plant Second Chance Church.

After she left I got to thinking about our conversation. She was really excited and supportive of us; however, I thought how logical it was that the first thing she thought was that Doug had some awesome job lined up and we were leaving everything here for that. Oh no! He has no job, hasn't had one call about any of the jobs he has applied for. Nope, what we're doing makes absolutely no sense. Hallelujah, Praise the Lord, it doesn't make sense! I just really took a second to think on that. What a privilege to just step out and do something for God. Something the world cannot possibly understand. I love sharing my story and have people just look at me like "what???"

Sometimes throughout my life I've questioned if I'm on the right path or not. Am I doing God's will? Does He want me to do this? You know, I have no doubts right now. I think when you're doing something that can't possibly make sense. When people look at you like you're crazy, it must be God's plan. This is what He loves. To challenge us. To stretch us. To call us to do something totally out there and have us to totally and completely trust Him through the process! Doug and I are just sitting here in faith waiting. Now, it may not look pretty all the time. I know I go through periods of doubt and wondering how this will all work out. I've never waivered with the call. I've never really even entertained the idea of not going. But sometimes, I question how we can leave all we have here. How can everything work out once we're there. Like I said, it may not be pretty, but you know what? I know God thinks it's beautiful. He looks at Doug and I and thinks "There's my kids, just doing what I've asked of them."

So, I am at peace. In fact, for about a week or two now I've just had this unexplainable peace. I'm not worried about a job for Doug, I just know God has one for him. I'm not worried about our house, I know He has a buyer for us and a house for us there. So right now I'm enjoying this peace. I'm enjoying the thought of God looking down, seeing me and smiling. I mean, that' what I I do when my kids listen and obey, so why wouldn't God be the same way with His children.

Four Years Ago Today....

God blessed us with a beautiful baby girl. I had wanted a baby girl for as long as I can remember. Oh to be able to dress her up and do her hair. I just knew it would be amazing! Well, I get pregnant for my first child. I told Doug I really didn't care what I had as long as the next one I have is the opposite. I said that, but I bought some dresses at a garage sale. My heart was longing for a girl. We had the ultrasound and found out it was a boy. Doug was so excited. I was not disappointed. I was happy to be having a baby, but in my mind was the next one better be a girl!

4 years later we get pregnant again. I just knew it would be a girl. We go to the ultrasound and I saw that it was boy before the doctor even told me. Doug didn't care and I thought I didn't care. We went to Baby Gap to pick out something fun for him and I saw all the cute little girl stuff and started crying. I adjusted and am so thankful for Brandt who has taught me so much as a parent.

We had always wanted only two kids, a boy and a girl. It's so funny how God's plans for our lives usually look different than our own. Once I became a stay at home mom, I started toying with the idea of having another baby. I would be able to be with this one all the time! So, I really had to search my heart and be ok with having a third child, whether it was a boy or a girl. Well, after a $5,000 bribe, I convinced Doug we should have another one.

I was diagnosed with previa a couple months into my pregnancy and was put on bed rest for two months. I had sonograms every two weeks to watch how everything was going. At one sonogram the sono tech told me the previa was still there which meant two more weeks of bed rest. I told her I would forgive her if she told me it was girl. She did the sono and towards the end said "I think I'm going to make your day." I grabbed her arm and said "It's a girl?!?" and she said yes! Seriously one of the happiest days of my life! I had several more sonograms and I always verified that she was a girl. In fact, the first thing I looked at when she came out at the hospital was to verify that she was girl. I just didn't trust that it was going to happen.

You know how you just long for something for so long and then you get it and it falls short of your expectations? Well, that is definitely not the case for me. I love having a little girl. I love the outfit changes and wanting her hair done. I love that she plays with baby dolls and loves to act like her mommy. It's just one of the best things in the world!

So, Happy Birthday Jazlyn SharonKay Jones. I love you so very much and truly thank God every day for you!

To Judge

1 Corinthians 4

Stewards of the Mysteries of God

1 Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful. 3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court.[a] In fact, I do not even judge myself. 4 For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God.

We are stewards of God. What is a steward? A steward is someone that takes care of something. What is required of a steward? To be found faithful. We must be found faithful in what God has entrusted to us, whatever that is. This really isn't what hit me from this verse though, check out the next few verses. It doesn't really bother him when others judge him and he really doesn't even judge himself. He allows God to judge him.

Judging is such a hard word these days. You shouldn't judge others by their looks. You shouldn't judge or you to will be judge. But what does Paul say? He doesn't even judge himself. Oh how guilty I am of this. I look at my life and what do I do? I compare it to others. Then what happens? I don't give as much to the church as he does. I don't volunteer as much as she does. I know I don't have an impact like they do. I start to judge myself. The only real way we can judge is by comparing ourselves to others and unless you're Mother Teresa, you're always going to find somebody doing it better than you do. But here's the thing. God does not judge us by comparing us to others. Why?

1 Corinthians 12:4-6
There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5 There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. 6 And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all.

God knows that we are not created the same. We are all made up differently. This means that some are going to be better givers, some servers and some teachers. The important thing is that I find what God has called me to do and to do it faithfully. God does not require more of myself than that, so why should I?

The problem is is that I've felt better about this lately. Why? Because God had called us to Fishers to do something big! I now feel like I'm really doing something for God. Whew! I'm doing more than that person. I mean, we're giving up a great job and security to give it all up for God. I'm really serving God now. What about the person that God has called to serve right here. What about the person God has called to clean toilets, watch kids, visit an elderly neighbor. You see, I'm still comparing myself. I have prayed that God will keep me humble through this experience. You see, it's not about me, it's all about him. He could do His work in Fishers through anybody, but he chose me. He's allowing me to help in this. What a blessing! So, I'm trying to keep my eyes on Jesus and stop comparing and judging myself by looking at others and what they are or are not doing. God doesn't measure me that way. I am entrusted with what he has decided to entrust me with. No more, no less. I will be a steward over what He has given me and I will do it faithfully! That's all God requires of me and that's all I can require of myself.

Blessings....

are mine and 10,000 besides

"Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/19#ixzz1NCajr0fW

So, this was not how I was going to start my blog. I typed in Blessings and just the words to this hymnal poured out.

This morning was Doug's morning to put the kids on the bus. I got woken up by him at 6:35 saying he would need my help because there was water all over the kitchen floor. I'm pretty sure the "Morning by morning new mercies I see" line from this hymn did not immediately pop into his head :) The water line to the ice maker somehow got a hole in it and was leaking. Not only is this not easy to repair since we dry walled in the shut off to this, but the water is sitting under our laminate flooring, causing it to warp. This is the floor you see when you first walk in the house, so very frustrating when we're trying to get it ready to sell. So, Doug had to take a vacation day to fix it. The good thing is, is that this should be only about an hour job. So, we decided to go ahead and start on the upstairs bathroom since he has the whole day off. At this time, the entire bathroom has been gutted and Doug is off to Menards to buy everything we need to finish it. This is the last big project in our renovation. So, what a blessing that he's getting started on it! It may not have been exactly when we planned, but it feels so good to have the last big thing underway!

I haven't had an etsy sell in three days. This is very frustrating to me because we rely on my etsy funds for all the little extras around here. But, as I was singing this song in my head "All I have needed, thy hand hath provided-great is thy faithfulness! really hit me. God has provided and is providing for everything we need. So we need to budget a little better, no big deal :) It's not like we're giving up anything big. Now, I only have three dresses to complete and I have all of my online orders done. I even have those thress dresses about 1/2 way done, so it should just take me a half hour or so to be completely caught up. Then I can focus on several local orders I need to get done, including about 10 dresses for a wedding. I can also work on things for my photo shoot that's in about a month and work on things for local shows. So, I'm going to get caught up on a lot of stuff. What a blessing!

So, when trouble comes, I'm going to try to find the blessings in it. Now, I may not do it well all the time, but I'm going to try.

Check out the words to the entire hymn. What's the saying? Oldy but a goody...

Great Is Thy Faithfulness Lyrics

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Refrain

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Refrain

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Refrain

Almost Finished!

I just had to take a moment and share just how close we are to finishing our basement! I'm just so excited! We started renovating our basement over a year ago. We started with the family room side. We, and I use the term we very loosely since Doug has done probably 95% of the work with a little help from his dad and a little less help from me :) Anyway, we ripped down a rock wall that was just hideous. Upon ripping it down we discovered that a whole cinder block in the basement wall, under the window was missing. Yeah! That explained a lot of our water problems in the basement! So, we made that window bigger and put in all new windows, including an egress one in what was to become the master bedroom. We then ripped down all the ugly paneling and installed drywall. We then installed beautiful laminate flooring, I actually helped a lot with this! We installed a closet and cabinetry for Jazzy girl. We also framed in our fireplace. The family room got finished and we started on the master suite. The layout was just so ridiculous! So we framed in a separate laundry room, and master suite, including a walk in closet, full bath with separate jacuzzi tub and shower and a bedroom. When I'm actually typing it out, it's amazing all we've gotten done! Now, we are on the home stretch. When Doug gets home from work tonight we're going to get a couple of doors and he will hopefully get those installed tonight. I'm going to paint all the new trim that he hung. Then we have a couple of transitions to install from carpet to tile, a towel rack to install, caulk around the tub and two pieces of trim that have to be ripped an hung up. THAT'S IT! Wow! I can hardly believe it. I really thought the end was never in sight and now here it is!

Next, on to the upstairs bathroom....

In The Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth Rise Up and Walk!

I read this passage a little over a week ago. I can't remember what was going on that day, but I didn't have time to really spend time in it. It keeps coming back to me, so I decided to reread it and take time to pray and journal over it.

Acts 3:1-10 (New King James Version)

A Lame Man Healed

1 Now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. 2 And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms from those who entered the temple; 3 who, seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for alms. 4 And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, “Look at us.” 5 So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. 6 Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” 7 And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. 8 So he, leaping up, stood and walked and entered the temple with them—walking, leaping, and praising God. 9 And all the people saw him walking and praising God. 10 Then they knew that it was he who sat begging alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

This man, lame from birth, sat begging for money every day. Every day! I guess you could say this was his job. When Peter and John walk by and tell him "look at us" he looks at them EXPECTING to receive something from them. What do you think he's expecting? Money! That's all he ever gets. The same thing...over and over. Why? Because that's all he asks for. Then along come Peter and John, in the name of JESUS and changes his life!

I think this applies to our lives so well. We just keep asking for the same things from God, over and over. Lord, bless us, bless our kids, bless our church. I know that's what my prayers are like. We have God in this box. Well, guess what? There's no box that can hold God! Our God is bigger than we can even imagine! Then why are we not praying bold prayers of faith! The thing is, God WANTS to do infinitely more than we could ever imagine in our lives.

You know what, I bet that lame beggar, thought about the possibility of walking everyday. He would see little kids run buy, watch men and women stroll by, and just long to be one of them. Long to feel what it would be like to stand upright on his own two feet and walk wherever he wanted. Yet there he laid, day after day.

How long are we going to just lay here. Sitting in our same circumstances. Keeping God in our box. I'm ready to start praying audacious prayers of faith. But you know what? They have to be the right prayers. I can pray audaciously that I win a million dollars; but, does that fall along with what God wants from me? What if I prayed that God would be God of my finances. Not that we could have nice cars or a bigger house, but so that we could change the world for the Kingdom of God! What if I stopped praying for a "good" job for Doug when we move. What if I started praying that God would provide Doug with the perfect job that would allow him to reach others for Christ. To put him right where God needed him to be. What if I stopped worrying if my house will be big enough when we move and start praying that God would put me right by the neighbors I need to be by to reach them for Him.

What if I really changed the way I pray? What if I let God out of his box and allowed Him to work through me to further His kingdom? What if?

Best Mother's Day Ever!

Well, today is officially the best Mother's Day ever! Yesterday I got groceries and Brandt went with me. I told him we needed to decide where we were eating lunch today for Mother's Day. He said we should go on a picnic, "we never do that." So, we bought everything for a picnic. We got up and went to church this morning -side note- amazing service! After the service, we came home, packed up the van and headed out. We went to a park in East Peoria. There was hardly anyone there! We laid our blanket out and ate our sandwiches and chips together as a family. Then, Austin took Jazzy to play on the playground and Doug and Brandt played football and baseball. I just laid on the blanket and listened to the giggling and laughing of my family. I dozed a little and read from my kindle. After we were done at the park, we stopped at Dairy Queen and bought ice cream - side note - $21 for ice cream! Holy Cow!

We came home and cleaned up Nesta's pen to get it ready for Ziggy. We then trimmed the bushes that haven't been trimmed in forever! Then Doug and I sat on the swing and just watched the kids play. After that we went for our 2 mile walk. Doug pushed Jazz in the stroller and the boys rode their bikes. Now we're just hanging out, watching tv and relaxing.

What a simple suggestion from Brandt. Go for a picnic. Doug and I have decided that this is something we want to do at least once a month, if not more! We had such a great day today and so did our kids! We want to enjoy these moments with them as much as possible and for as long as possible!

Just for Today

Today, in reading for my bible study, there was a challenge. Read the following paragraph every day for seven days. In case you haven't noticed, I use this as my journaling with what God is sharing with me. So, here it is. I will be reading this every day and trying to implement it into my life. Won't you join me!

Just for today I will live this way...just for today, I am making the choice to not settle, Lord. Just for today, I will not let the subtle influences of pride and thinking I know what is best for me overshadow my desire for more of You in my life. Today, I will believe with absolute certainty. Today, I will obey You with complete surrender. Today, I will see You with complete abandon. For doing this is fulfilling the purpose for which I was created...not to bring myself glory by some great accomplishment, but to bring You glory by making You my greatest heart's desire. O God, let me make that choice today. Even if it is just for a day - how I long for it to be more - but even if it is just for today, may it be completely so. For one day completely with You is truly, truly better than a thousand elsewhere. In Jesus'name, Amen.

Discouraged

So we're on this road to Fishers. We're so amazed and humbled to be called. I wish we could just live on that "high" all the time. Unfortunately, life is not all highs. There are many lows. The key is to be joyful in the highs and the lows. Yesterday was a very low day for me.

It just seems that for every two steps forward we take in the remodeling project, it's one step back. We're making progress, but it's just sooooo slow! I know, I know, we should expect for there to be set backs and problems during remodeling. I guess I'm ok with that, but it's almost ridiculous the things that are happening! Doug broke two toilets yesterday. Now, installing a toilet is not that hard, in fact, Doug has done this many times. He has no idea how they broke. First, he was setting it on the drain and it cracked. Now this was not just a tiny crack, a triangle size piece broke off the bottom that was about a foot tall. Just crazy. So, he goes and gets a new bottom for it and was attaching the top to it and it cracked. It's just so frustrating. Now we're set back by about $100 and we're getting really low on our renovating funds.

I'm also starting to get really stressed about Doug finding the job. The problem is is that Doug's a cop. However, he cannot get a cop job when we move due to his age. Also, even if he could get a cop job, he would start back at the bottom of the pay scale and shift bid. Looking for related fields is not that easy as well. Most security positions pay about half of what he's making now. Unfortunately, we're not in a place where we can live on half of his pay. Honest to goodness, we can cut our cable bill and that's about it. Everything else are just basic expenses. So, I just can't see how this is going to work out....

...with my human eyes. I'm so thankful that God does not live and work and breath in the human world. Every night before bed I read a page from Beth Moore's "Praying God's Word Day by Day." Here's a portion of what I read last night:

I praise You, God of heaven and Lord of earth! You are not a man, that You should lie, nor a son of man, that You should change Your mind. Do You speak and then not act? Do you promise and not fulfill? (Num. 23:19). You are always faithful, God! How grateful I am to know that You will never lie to me.

You see, God called us to Fishers. We know this without a doubt in our minds. So that means he has a plan for us.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

That means that God is not calling us to Fishers and then going to just leave us or even worse, leave it all up to us. He has a plan. He will provide. Everything will come together in His time.

This doesn't mean that life will be perfect. This doesn't mean that there won't be lows. But it does mean that God is with us no matter what and His plan is for our good. So, all these promises that I know in my heart, I'm working on believing them in my head. Not an easy feet, but I know God is using this time of frustration and having to trust in Him to mold me and help me be who He wants me to be.

Not My Fault

I started reading in John awhile ago. I think it's so God's timing that I'm at the end of the book this week before Easter. Today I read about Pilate. Several times he said "I find no fault with this man." The Jews wanted Jesus crucified, Pilate could not find a reason. Eventually he handed him over to be crucified.

This got me to thinking of how often we do this in our own lives. In one of the gospels I believe it even says that Pilate washed his hands in front of the crowd and said basically that Jesus' blood was not on his hands. Can we do this? Can we do something we feel is wrong because everybody else is pressuring us to and just "wash our hands of it." Not my fault. Everyone else was, so I had to.

Austin is so bad at accepting responsibility. Nothing is ever his fault. He's got an excuse for everything! It's so funny how different my kids are. Austin is basically a good kid, he rarely gets in trouble; but when he does, it wasn't his fault. Guaranteed. Brandt gets in trouble a lot more frequently. When he gets in trouble, it's usually a big deal. Yet afterwards, he admits he was wrong and says he's sorry. Which is better?

Do I make excuses with God?
Not my fault. It wasn't gossip, it was a prayer request.
Not my fault. It wasn't really a lie, it was just stretching the truth.
Not my fault. I just got so busy I forgot to read my bible.

On and on we go. Making excuses. What we need to realize, what I need to realize, is that all these little checks that God gives us are for our good. To make us more like Jesus. Not full of excuses, just full of Jesus.

Ask and it Will be Given to You

We have been remodeling our house for what seems like FOREVER! We are so close to being done! We had been waiting for the house to be complete before Doug started looking for jobs. A couple of days ago we took the plunge. I've been so ready to move into this next step. Now that we're here, it's so scary. I'm having a hard time thinking that Doug is going to find a job as good as the one he has now. Is he going to have a job that pays enough? I've been reading in John and here are the verses I've read over the past several days:

John 15:7 If you abide in Me, and My works abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you

John 15:16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you

John 16:24 Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full

Now, do these verses mean I can ask for a pink elephant and "Bam!" God delivers? No. But if I'm totally in sync with Jesus, if my wants are his wants, than I can ask and know it will be given. We are relocating because God has called us there. He has a plan for us. I know He will provide. That doesn't mean we may not have difficulties or even have to make some sacrifices, but I do believe that God wants us to financially support Second Chance. This means that He has a job for Doug that will provide for all our needs. We may not have all our "wants", but then again, maybe we will. I just know I have to have faith and trust that God's path for me is the best one to be on, no matter what!

A Cavity ?!?

I went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago for my routine cleaning. I found out at that time that I had a cavity. I was shocked! I haven't had a cavity since middle school. I take very good care of my teeth! I have been dreading going in to get it filled. I just kept thinking about that HUGE needle they were going to use to numb it and then I was going to have to live with a fat lip for several hours. I really worked myself up about it. Right before I went in, I took a deep breath and said "Lord, be with me through this."

Once I got into the waiting room I wasn't there a full minute before I was called back. I sat down, she said the doctor will be with you in a few minutes and immediately the doctor walked in. Did't they know I needed a little time to fret some more! This is how the conversation went:

Dentist: Do you want me to numb this?
Me: (laughing) uh, you do whatever you think is best
Dentist: (Picks up his drill)
Me: Uh, what are doing?
Dentist: You said I didn't have to numb it
Me: I thought you were kidding!
Dentist: I don't think it's that deep and I really think you'll be fine

I ended up letting him go ahead and do it without numbing me. And you know what? It basically didn't hurt at all! He then put a white filling on it and now you can't even tell anything was done. I was in and out in 15 minutes and it really wasn't a big deal at all.

I got to thinking later how our spiritual lives can look so much like this story. We have this issue in our life that is just so small, that if we would just let Jesus take care of it right away, we would experience very little pain, very little discomfort. We could just let Jesus clean out the bad and put a seal on it and we could go on with our lives, with really nothing different about us. Instead, so many times, we hide it from God. Maybe we're scared, ashamed or just don't want to admit that we have an issue. So, we hide, we ignore, we run. Then we're left with a much bigger "fix." It can't be fixed painlessly. God has to do much more drilling, honing, molding to clean us up. In the end we're left with deep scars that may never completely go away.

In all honesty, when the dentist said how small the cavity was the first thing I thought was maybe we should just wait then until it gets bigger. Then I thought, it would probably be much easier if I just went through with this today. Oh to respond to Jesus like that. I don't want to do this, go through this, but I know it's better to deal with this today than put it off until tomorrow. I hope I remember this next time I feel that gentle nudge. The road is so much easier if I just respond right away. It may not be painless, it may take some work, but in the end, Jesus wants what's best for me!

I took the Plunge

Well, not me exactly, but I applied for several jobs for Doug in the Indianapolis area. Pastor Matt texted me tonight and asked how everything was going. I told him we have a little over a week left and should have the house done. Can we just pause for a moment and say a big fat YAY!!! He also asked how the job search was coming. I told him we had been waiting to finish the house before looking. A couple of days ago I was thinking that we should start applying soon. I took this as a sign to just go ahead and take the plunge. I go through phases where I know God is going to provide Doug with a good job and worrying that he won't find one that pays enough. It's a scary step we're taking, but I just keeping focusing on Second Chance. I know this is what God wants us to do so really it's up to Him to provide. So, here we go, a few final things on the house and job searching. I feel like we're moving into phase two. How exciting!

Lessons for the Treadmill

So, I've started working out again. Ok, so today was my first day, but still... I'm doing a training for a 5K app on my iphone. It's really cool. I was able to import songs from my ipod and listen to them while I work out. It's basically interval training where you walk for a 1 1/2 minutes and then run for a minute. I'm hoping recording this here will help me stick with it! Summer is coming and I really need to get in shape, never mind the McDonalds I just had for lunch :)

So, anyway, I learned a couple of things while on the treadmill this morning:

1.) Trying to "dance" to Toby Mac while running on a treadmill is not recommended.
2.) If your bangs are not in your face than that means your headband is still on and you do not have to look around searching for it, afraid it would get sucked up into the treadmill, and almost falling off.
3.) The extension cord that is laying across the edge of the treadmill is not the non-missing headband, so you can quit looking at it every few minutes.
4.) It is much easier to put a bun in your hair BEFORE you get on the treadmill and not while you're walking.
5.) If your treadmill happens to be right beside your mirror, do not think you can watch the belly fat disappear, it will take a little more time.
6.) In your mid 20s, working out might have been refreshing, but in your mid 30s you're going to need a nice long break with your feet up just so you can walk again.

Sometimes God Just doesn't Make Sense!

Sometimes God calls us to do things that just don't make sense. This is very hard for me because I am a very logical person. I mean why would you cold call people you don't even know and invite them to church. That's what our church did when it first started up. I thought it was crazy. No one's going to come to church from a phone call from somebody they don't even know. Yet that's exactly how Shelly came to our church. Now, she is one of the biggest spiritual influences in my life. She serves on the church board and is an amazing women. If left up to me, she might not even be at our church

Matt and Brooke are the pastor and his wife that will be leading Second Chance Church in Fishers, IN. They have been trying to sell their house for over 6 months. About 6 weeks ago, Matt moved to the Fishers area leaving Brooke and their son Warrick here. This lasted for about a month before Matt really felt like Brooke was supposed to quit her job and move to Fishers with him. He really thought God wanted them to be together as a family. Now this just doesn't make sense. Brooke's job was paying their house payment. If she quit, where would the money come from to pay it? Well, after praying, they really felt like this was what God wanted them to do. Brooke was in Indiana for one week when their house sold. Not only did it sell, but they got a very decent offer. They countered back and the buyer was so impressed with their counter that he offered to pay MORE! What?!? When does it ever happen that someone gets a counter and decides to pay MORE than the seller is asking!

Like I said, following God sometimes just doesn't make sense. How many times do I miss a plan or even just a blessing God has for me because I don't want to step out in faith and do what He is calling me to do? Lord, help me to be unlogical, unpractical and live by faith!

Princess Tea Party

Yesterday, Gretchen and I took Emma and Jazlyn to a princess tea party. It was held by Mrs Newsberry's Traveling Tea Parties. She brought a ton of princess dresses that each little girl could choose from. She also had necklaces & very over the top boa & flower hats. They all looked adorable. She had little kid size tables set up beautifully with flowers, finger foods and a tea service.

Jazlyn ate a lot of pieces of cheese, a chocolate brownie cupcake and a wafer cookie. She really liked the cheese :) They were served pink tea. I'm not sure if it was actually tea or not. I asked Jazz if it was pink lemonade and she said "no, it was tea."

They also had story time where Mrs Newsberry read three books. After they were able to eat what they wanted, drink their tea and hear the stories, they changed out of their dresses and had craft time. Now, I have to say that the crafts were a little ghetto:) They painted sun catchers, but a lot of the paint was dried up. Jazz got an underwater one that was very involved. I would have liked it better if she would have gotten a simple butterfly or something.

All in all, it was wonderful! You could tell that Jazz loved it. I took around 130 pictures, must be my mom in me :) As I was sitting and just watching her, I started to tear up. I really had to stop myself from crying. Just the blessing of having a little girl. Thank you Lord!

Why am I Surprised...

When God answers a prayer I didn't even think to pray.

My tent broke that I use for craft fairs. Late last fall, it was a really rainy day and my church wanted to use tents to help shield everybody as they were carrying things in for setup. I said they could use my tent and Doug took it. He was pushing it up and one of the braces snapped. He doesn't know why and it isn't fixable.

Luckily it happened after all my fall shows, so I wasn't in any hurry for a new one. Now that it's closer to spring, I've been researching getting a new one. To get one just like I had, which would be fine, would be about $160. The only thing, it only has tabs that velcro at the sides. One of my friends has the exact same tent and someone broke into at a show last fall and stole about $600 worth of items from her. Since then, I've really wanted the sides that zip all the way down. Somebody could easily unzip them, but it would be much harder than undoing a couple of velcro tabs. I would also like an awning. Sometimes I put my table outside of my booth and it would be really nice to be able to have the awning to offer some shade and some protection for my cash register if it rains. I researched the ones with the zipper sides and awnings and they are $270. I don't mind paying for things that I know I'll use, but I just hated the idea of paying an extra $100 for just a couple of things that would be "nice" to have.

I had a craft show last weekend. Jessica was there. She's a friend I used to work with and she started making tutus and some hair accessories last year. She shared that she was thinking about quitting. It just wasn't paying off for her. I told her to let me know if she wants to sell her tent because I need one. She messaged me on facebook a couple of days later and said she was for sure quitting. She sent me a link to her tent and that she wanted $150 for it. When I checked out the link, yeah, it was the exact tent I wanted! The one with the zipper sides and an awning. I was so excited! I told her I wanted it and she wanted to know if I wanted to just do a credit with her and then she could just pick things out for me to make for her little girl. So now it's going to cost me about $60 in material and a little of my time for the exact tent I wanted that would have been $270.

I didn't even pray about it. There's just some things that I don't think to pray about. "Lord please provide a tent for my craft shows" ?!? That seems so meaningless. I pray for my uncle that has cancer. My friend that has cancer. That my kids will always remain close to Jesus. But to pray for a tent? I'm so thankful that I serve a God who cares about every aspect of my life. From the big things, like my family, to the smallest things, like providing a "want" in my life. Thank you God!

Her First Sleep Over

Jazlyn spent the night with a friend for the first time night before last. It's not surprising that it's her first time since she's only three! She was just going to play for the afternoon, which extended to after supper and then to all night. I was very surprised that she stayed. But of course I forgot one very important thing

EMMA

Emma is Jazlyn's best friend. It is so funny to think of a three year old with a best friend, but it's true. She talks about her all the time. She wants to dress like her whenever they're going to be together. I actually have to lie and say "Yes, that's what Emma's wearing" when we leave for church. I made the mistake of making them matching outfits, now they're hooked :)

I dread moving and separating them. It's the first time I have honestly felt any qualms. I hate the idea of leaving my bible study girls and my small group. I'm really going to miss my church. But, I'm ok with all that. Jazlyn leaving Emma, well that's harder to take. They're just so precious together!

I guess what's so hard is that because she's so young, she's more than likely going to forget all about this first friendship after a time. That's just really hard to take. They love each other soooo much. They get in trouble and have to be separated at tumbling. When they're not separated, they are sitting next to each other. If there's no room beside one of them, the other will just stand and stare at whoever is sitting by the one sitting down until that person moves. It's so funny how all the kids understand that Emma and Jazlyn sit next to each other. They hug and hold hands. They're just so adorable. And I don't think there's anything better than a couple of 3-4 year olds carrying a conversation!

The good thing is that I know God has friends for each of us in Indiana. I've also talked to Gretchen and let her know that we expect a lot of visits! Until we move, we're doing more than ever together. I don't know if that's a good plan or not, but that's what I'm doing. Next on the list is a princess tea on Sunday. I can't wait!

What do my Actions Say?

Matthew 11:2-5

And when John had heard in prison about the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples and said to Him, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?”
Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things which you hear and see: The blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them.

John wanted to know if Jesus was the Christ. Isn't it just like Jesus to not just say "yes." Instead he basically says "look at my actions." Look at my actions and decide for yourself who you think I am.

What are my actions like? Do people have to ask if I'm a Christian, or can they look at my life, see the fruit I bare and say "there's something different about her." I know that I'm not perfect. I'm not going to look and act like Jesus all of the time. But those times should not be the norm. Every thing I do, every thought I have, everything about me should show who I am. I am a child of God.

My reading this morning ties in perfectly with the sermon yesterday. Pastor Dale talked about the fig tree Jesus saw when he was hungry yet it didn't have any fruit on it. Jesus cursed it and it withered and died. Jesus expects us to bare fruit that looks like him. It's not an option. It's not a Sunday thing. It's an everyday, every moment thing. It's a life changing thing. It's being transformed from the inside out. It's not an overnight thing, however. It's a process that won't be complete until we get to heaven. But we need to be on that journey, taking steps day by day. Slowing being transformed to look and act like Jesus. Lord, Help me to do that today!

How Many Hairs do I Have?

Matthew 10:30 "But the very hairs of your head are numbered"

I don't know how many strands of hair I have. I do know that some fall out every day and every day more start growing in. It is an ever changing number. Yet God knows that number every minute and every second of the day. Do you think God cares how many strands of hair I have? Do you think he keeps a log with that ever changing number always kept up to date? I don't think so. I think the bible tells us this to show us how intimately and how thoroughly God knows us. No one knows us like God knows us.

Why then do I try to hide my fears, my mistakes, my shame from Him? He already knows everything even more completely than I think I do. Why do I not come to Him and allow Him the healing, the comfort, the forgiveness, the peace that He so anxiously awaits to give me? Dr Phil always says "you can't change something that you won't admit." This is so very true with God. He can't do the work in us He needs to do until we admit that there is no way we can do it on our own.

You know what, not only does He know us so completely, so thoroughly, but He loves us anyway! Thank you Lord! Next time I have to pick a hair off my sweater or coat, I'm going to take a moment and think that it's an example of God's love for me.

Missing my Kids

Doug came home a couple of months ago and said he had an idea. I always cringe when this happens. His ideas usually do not excite me like they do him. He said he had a conference up near Chicago and thought I could come with him. Well, this was something I could get excited about! I talked to my mom and she agreed to take a couple of days off and stay with my kids.

Well, we've been gone since Sunday and head back today. I can't believe how much I miss my kids. I mean, I knew I would miss them, but really thought I would enjoy the time away. Doug and I came up early on Sunday and walked around the mall here. It was a joke of a mall. For every store that was open there were two that were closed. They did have an indoor mini golf course. I was like "Mini golf." Then we just kept walking. It just didn't sound as fun without the kids. We thought about going to see a movie but the only one we wanted to see was Rango and didn't want to see it without the kids. We then went to Target and walked around. We spent the most time in the toy aisle.

The kids on the other hand are not missing us at all. To my surprise, Jazz is doing just fine. I knew she would be ok, but I thought there would be some issues. I mean she still sleeps with us, so I thought at the very least she would miss us at bed time. NOPE! She's doing just fine. I'm glad. It would be so much worse if she was miserable.

So, I'm going to enjoy my last day here, but am so ready to hug my kids! When they start driving me crazy, and they will, I'm going to remember how much worse it would be if we weren't all together!