A Samaritan Women

This story has been preached on so many times from so many angles. I'm reading through the book of John and read the very first paragraph of her story, really before her story:

John 4

A Samaritan Woman Meets Her Messiah

1 Therefore, when the Lord knew that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John 2 (though Jesus Himself did not baptize, but His disciples), 3 He left Judea and departed again to Galilee. 4 But He needed to go through Samaria.

Now, I heard a sermon preached once, possibly even by my amazing brother, on this story. Did you know that Samaria is right between Galilee and Judea, the logical town for anyone traveling between the two cities to go through. However, no one traveled that way. They would go out of their way so they would not have to go through Samaria. But did you catch what Jesus said? He needed to go through Samaria. Now, it could have been that he wanted to get to Judea as quick as possible so he wanted to take the shortest route. I don't think so. He needed to go that way because he knew that the Samaritan women needed him.

Oh how great a God we serve that He does not do what everyone else does. He does not not do something just because other people don't do it and would criticize Him for doing it.

For awhile now, I've had this thought, this feeling, that we should move to Fishers whether Doug has a job or not. Now, I don't like this thought. I don't like this feeling. I honestly don't want God to ask us to do this. It's scary! So, a couple of weeks ago I prayed and told God that if this is what He wants for us, He needs to have Doug bring it up to me. Whew! Pretty much dodged that one! I love my husband dearly. And while he's doing better, he really doesn't talk much about deep issues or his feelings. So, I'm pretty sure we're in the clear.

Two days ago Doug says we need to get the house on the market. We haven't been rushing it since there is supposedly a family that wants to look at it and it would be very nice not to have pay a Realtor. I told him I thought we should wait until he finds a job. Then we could get a house in Fishers and probably swing two house payments for a short time. He said no, he didn't want to do that. So, I let it go and just said ok. A couple of hours later I asked him why he wanted to list the house right away. He said he remembered Pastor Matt (I believe) preaching that faith really isn't faith until you use it, until you just step out in trust. So, he thought we should sell our house, buy a house in Fishers and we should move there. I said "without you having a job?" And he said "Yes." NOOOOOO! What! He was not supposed to tell me this! While my insides were aflutter with nervousness with how in the world this would work, I was also looking at amazement that my husband is willing to do this! What growth we have both experienced. I was also so amazed at God for answering my prayer, just how I wanted.

So, we're praying that God will lead us. We want to do His will, no matter what. No matter how crazy it seems. If He shows us that this is definitely the path for us, then we'll go there. So, I've been praying that God will guide me if this is His path for us. Which brings us to the passage I read today. Jesus needed to go through Samaria. Why? Because there was a lost hurting women there. Doug and I need to go to Fishers. It's not a want. It's not a desire. It's a need. I googled a definition for need and here's the one I love:

Definition of NEED. 1: necessary duty : obligation

There are lost people in Hamilton County. There are hurting people in Hamilton County. God has called us to do something about it. What was once so fun and so amazing has become this obligation, this duty, this necessity in our lives. We are so excited to be near my family. We are so excited to be near Matt & Brooke. But you know what, if we were called to Timbuktu, we would go. Why, because reaching people that need Jesus isn't an option. It's not something you can choose to do or not to do it. We must do it. It's necessary! It's necessary for us! You see, God is using this to change us. We must reach out to others, so much more than we have in the past. We want God to use us, no matter how unlogical it may seem.

Our path on this journey is looking different than I thought it would. But my prayer has been from the beginning that God would show us the path He has for us. If this is where He leads, than all we can do is follow. It's not an option. It's necessary!

Unworthy

I've tried for over a year to keep a journal. Pastor Dale has said it many times in his sermons of how important it is. I tried keeping a written one, but I don't do well with that. I think faster than I can write and it just drives me crazy! I also started a word document but I didn't really like that either. So, I started doing it on here. This just works for me. So, I'm telling you all of that because you're going to get an intimate glimpse of me this morning. Keeping it real. You can't really be all God wants you to be until you can be real with yourself and with others. So, here goes...

I had the Tremont Turkey Festival this weekend. I love what I do. I'm so blessed that I get to do about 95% of my work from home and only truly work outside the home a few weekends a year. And to be honest, I really enjoy doing craft shows. They are however long and can be very draining. I woke up yesterday, tempted to just sleep in and not go to church. I was going to have to go straight from church to the show. But, I got up and went. Truth be told, there's not much that will keep me from going anymore. I just love church! So, we're singing the first song, and to be honest, I can't even remember what it was. How sad is that! Anyway, it got me to thinking about Second Chance. You see, I've never understood why God called me. I suffer from the "not good enough" syndrome. Ok, I don't know if that's truly a syndrome, but I'm sure there are many of us that suffer from the same thing. Growing up, my dad couldn't have cared less about me. It was as if I was nonexistent about 95% of the time. I used to pray that God would just let my dad love me. But, no matter what I did, how I acted, I was never good enough. Moving into high school, I was never good enough to be a true friend. Every single "best" friend I had in high school either backstabbed and betrayed me or abandoned me. I was just never good enough. I didn't date much. I had a ton of guy friends. I was a great friend but never good enough to be a girlfriend.

These "not good enoughs" pop up in my adult live as well. There have been so called friends that have backstabbed me. There have also been true friends that have innocently done something that has brought back all those feelings of just not being good enough. When you grow up with this "syndrome" coming at you from such important people in your life, it tarnishes you. I never realized how deeply these things hurt me until I did Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" book. It opened my eyes to so much and I highly recommend the book!

So, we're singing at church and I'm thinking of our calling and have this thought of "why me? I just don't understand why you're calling me, God. I'm just not worthy." And I hear God say so clearly "You are worthy to me!" God thinks I'm worthy! God sees something in me that He can use. I was reading in John today and came across the calling of Nathanael.

John 1
43 The following day Jesus wanted to go to Galilee, and He found Philip and said to him, “Follow Me.” 44 Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. 45 Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found Him of whom Moses in the law, and also the prophets, wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”
46 And Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”
Philip said to him, “Come and see.”
47 Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward Him, and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no deceit!”
48 Nathanael said to Him, “How do You know me?”
Jesus answered and said to him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.”

You see, before God called me, he saw me. He saw me in my life. He saw me day to day and thought I can use her. We can look at ourselves and not see how God can use us, but God looks at our hearts. If our hearts are right, then He can use us. You see, He uses our weaknesses for Him. He uses our weaknesses to help make us strong.

As I was writing this, this song kept going through my head. Thank you Lord for using my weaknesses! Thank You that when I go through things in this life, they're not for naught, but You can use them for Your purposes!

Give Thanks lyrics
Songwriters: Smith, Henry;

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"
Let the poor say, "I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us"

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"
Let the poor say, "I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us"

It Makes no Sense

The Realtor came by yesterday and gave us an idea of what our house will probably sell for. We are relatively happy with the number she gave. It was within just a thousand or two of what we hoped to sell it for. She knows us. We bought this house from her and her husband works with Doug. She asked if we had a house in mind and we told her we were moving to Indiana. She wanted to know if Doug had a job lined up there. We told her no, and told her about our call to help plant Second Chance Church.

After she left I got to thinking about our conversation. She was really excited and supportive of us; however, I thought how logical it was that the first thing she thought was that Doug had some awesome job lined up and we were leaving everything here for that. Oh no! He has no job, hasn't had one call about any of the jobs he has applied for. Nope, what we're doing makes absolutely no sense. Hallelujah, Praise the Lord, it doesn't make sense! I just really took a second to think on that. What a privilege to just step out and do something for God. Something the world cannot possibly understand. I love sharing my story and have people just look at me like "what???"

Sometimes throughout my life I've questioned if I'm on the right path or not. Am I doing God's will? Does He want me to do this? You know, I have no doubts right now. I think when you're doing something that can't possibly make sense. When people look at you like you're crazy, it must be God's plan. This is what He loves. To challenge us. To stretch us. To call us to do something totally out there and have us to totally and completely trust Him through the process! Doug and I are just sitting here in faith waiting. Now, it may not look pretty all the time. I know I go through periods of doubt and wondering how this will all work out. I've never waivered with the call. I've never really even entertained the idea of not going. But sometimes, I question how we can leave all we have here. How can everything work out once we're there. Like I said, it may not be pretty, but you know what? I know God thinks it's beautiful. He looks at Doug and I and thinks "There's my kids, just doing what I've asked of them."

So, I am at peace. In fact, for about a week or two now I've just had this unexplainable peace. I'm not worried about a job for Doug, I just know God has one for him. I'm not worried about our house, I know He has a buyer for us and a house for us there. So right now I'm enjoying this peace. I'm enjoying the thought of God looking down, seeing me and smiling. I mean, that' what I I do when my kids listen and obey, so why wouldn't God be the same way with His children.

Four Years Ago Today....

God blessed us with a beautiful baby girl. I had wanted a baby girl for as long as I can remember. Oh to be able to dress her up and do her hair. I just knew it would be amazing! Well, I get pregnant for my first child. I told Doug I really didn't care what I had as long as the next one I have is the opposite. I said that, but I bought some dresses at a garage sale. My heart was longing for a girl. We had the ultrasound and found out it was a boy. Doug was so excited. I was not disappointed. I was happy to be having a baby, but in my mind was the next one better be a girl!

4 years later we get pregnant again. I just knew it would be a girl. We go to the ultrasound and I saw that it was boy before the doctor even told me. Doug didn't care and I thought I didn't care. We went to Baby Gap to pick out something fun for him and I saw all the cute little girl stuff and started crying. I adjusted and am so thankful for Brandt who has taught me so much as a parent.

We had always wanted only two kids, a boy and a girl. It's so funny how God's plans for our lives usually look different than our own. Once I became a stay at home mom, I started toying with the idea of having another baby. I would be able to be with this one all the time! So, I really had to search my heart and be ok with having a third child, whether it was a boy or a girl. Well, after a $5,000 bribe, I convinced Doug we should have another one.

I was diagnosed with previa a couple months into my pregnancy and was put on bed rest for two months. I had sonograms every two weeks to watch how everything was going. At one sonogram the sono tech told me the previa was still there which meant two more weeks of bed rest. I told her I would forgive her if she told me it was girl. She did the sono and towards the end said "I think I'm going to make your day." I grabbed her arm and said "It's a girl?!?" and she said yes! Seriously one of the happiest days of my life! I had several more sonograms and I always verified that she was a girl. In fact, the first thing I looked at when she came out at the hospital was to verify that she was girl. I just didn't trust that it was going to happen.

You know how you just long for something for so long and then you get it and it falls short of your expectations? Well, that is definitely not the case for me. I love having a little girl. I love the outfit changes and wanting her hair done. I love that she plays with baby dolls and loves to act like her mommy. It's just one of the best things in the world!

So, Happy Birthday Jazlyn SharonKay Jones. I love you so very much and truly thank God every day for you!