Wandering in the Desert

Well, it's been 5 weeks since Doug quit his job. I have to say that I have loved him being home. He got our shed and fence put up. Made a dress-up cabinet for all of Jazzy's dress-up clothes and has been keeping the house clean. I even came out one day and he had washed and waxed the van. It's just been awesome. He's also went fishing and disk golfing with the kids and we're just able to spend a lot of time together as a family. I would love for this to just be our life. Unfortunately, he will have to get a job at some point. He has been looking, earnestly in fact. He had an interview and test with a company last week and we're waiting to hear how the test went and see if he gets a second interview. I know something will come up. I totally trust that God has something for him in His time.

But...

Sometimes I just feel like the Israelites. I started a reading plan to read the bible through in one year. I like to read all the commentary that goes along with the chapters I'm reading, so it's going to end up being more like a two year plan. Anyway, I'm currently in Exodus and the Psalms. I learned so much about how God brought the Israelites out of Eqypt, things I never understood before. So now they're out of Egypt and every time something is not perfect, they wine and complain and question why they ever left Egypt. Sometimes I can totally understand where they're coming from. Every once in a while I get a glimpse of what we left. Doug would be Sergeant making about $70k a year. Jazzy would still be near her best friend and heading to the same school as her in the fall. Austin would still have a friend to hang out with. Live would be good. But then I stop and think that if we would have stayed, we would be in slavery. We would be slaves to money, to comfortableness, to our own selfish desires. Right now I am FREE! Freer than I have ever been. I have often referred to myself as a worrier, but I'm not worried right now! I can sometimes get stressed out if things feel out of my control, but I'm not stressed. All I am at this point is in awe. Just in awe and humbled that God chose Doug and I for this journey. In awe and humbled that He can use us to help further His kingdom. Just in awe and humbled by the awesome God I serve.

We're on this journey. This journey called life. And I am so thankful for the freedom from myself that God is teaching me through it. He can keep us wandering for as long as He needs to, we'll just keep our eyes on Him.